The women at Kehilat HaDavar have been gathering for a Bible Study on Proverbs 31. This has been a unique opportunity to learn in depth how we are to apply the instructions of the Torah in our lives. It is our desire to become what HaShem intended so that we can be a blessing to our families, our friends, our congregation and our local community. We will be adding to these notes as we continue our study. We hope you will find these pages helpful as you desire to know Him and His ways!
“The Proverbs 31 Woman”
Verse 10
A woman of strength, power, might, ability, virtue, integrity, uprightness, and fitness, a warlike leader of an army: Who can or will come to, attain to, arrive at, obtain, acquire, receive, *find? And precious, valuable from **pearls is her price, possession, sale.
*Adam could not find a helpmate amongst the animals for himself. HaShem provided Adam
with a helpmate. She was taken out of man, Adam.
**Remember our story about the pearl. The pearl starts out as a foreign object to the oyster. It
then finds its way into the center of the oyster. At first it irritates the oyster, but then as it
remains in the "heart" of the oyster it becomes coated and covered by it becoming/ripening (see
verse 12) into a beautiful pearl of great value.
Verse 11
Her *husband's heart trusts in, is confident in, is secure in her and lacks no plunder, is not decreased by her, is not made a prey because of her, is not stripped or made poorer by her.
The questions came up:
1. In what ways do you decrease or belittle your man?
2. How can you build up your man?
3. Do you spend his money with respect and wisdom?
We also looked at 1 Peter 3:1-6 in regards to chaste conversation, the adornment of a meek,
quiet heart, respect toward your husband, and not giving into fears or being fearfully inclined
over every little thing that comes down the pike.
*The Hebrew word here is "ba'alah" which means her husband, possessor, lord. We looked up
the meaning of husband and found that a husband is one who takes care of land, cattle, people,
etc. He has responsibilities. Our man is our husband, yes, but even more so is HaShem.
HaShem is our caretaker, our possessor, our Lord. So...
1. In what ways do you decrease or belittle HaShem?
2. How can you build up HaShem?
3. Do you spend HaShem's money with respect and wisdom?
Verse 12
She gives, shows, repays, becomes/ripens into *goodness, kindness and (is) not **evil, bad, deformed, evil in appearance, unhappy, unfortunate, sad of heart, sad of mind, sad of countenance, bad all my days of her life.
Our Discussion
The Hebrew language comes from ancient hieroglyphics which are symbols used to express a whole idea. Each letter of the Hebrew alphabet is a whole idea or picture in itself.
*The word for "good" or "goodness" is "tov". It is spelled tet, vav, vet. The following is a word picture for the word "tov".
tet = to protect like something in a basket
vav = a nail or tent peg, indicates to fasten something down and make it unmoveable
vet = a house
So the picture you get from this word "tov" which in English is translated as "good(ness)" is this:
Protect and nail down a house/household
See Proverbs 14:1 in regard to a woman that tears down her household with her own hands.
**The word for "evil" in this verse is "ra". It is spelled resh, ayin. The following is a word picture for the word "ra".
resh = master, head
ayin = eye
So the picture you get from this word "ra" which in English is translated as "evil" is this:
Master of the eye
A woman of great value does not have a roving, flirtatious, rebellious, or sad eye particularly toward her husband and his household.
Also of interest: The root of "ra" is "ra'a" which means to make a loud noise. A loud-mouthed woman is not of great value to her husband or household. In fact it indicates a bent toward evil.
Some questions that come to mind:
1. Are you content with what you have? with what your husband provides?
2. Do you struggle with depression? Why?
3. What are the fruits of HaShem's Spirit?
4. If you find you are lacking in fruit, how do you obtain this production?
Regarding the above questions, we referenced Leviticus 19:23-25 which speaks of how we are to treat a new fruit tree. For the first three years the fruit of that tree is considered unclean, not fit to eat. It is to drop to the ground and nourish itself. On the fourth year the fruit is holy to the Lord alone. Bring it and eat it at His gatherings. On the fifth year everyone may partake and enjoy. The fruit is good to share.
Where do you get the seed for this "tree" in the first place? By hearing and understanding the Word of HaShem's Tanak. Matthew 13:19-23 NKJ "When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, then the wicked one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is he who received seed by the wayside...." You hear HaShem's Word with your ears, it goes into your head, and then should be received by your heart which in turn will cause us to act -- seek Him with all our heart, soul, and strength. Now, how does that apply to us as women?
For the first three years we begin to really study the Tanak (Torah especially), we should learn quietly, prayerfully, and not seek to "witness" or "minister" for we know little to nothing.
For the fourth year use what you know to serve at your synagogue.
For the fifth year you should be ready to branch out and speak to others outside of the synagogue.
See also Galatians 1:1-21. What did Paul do directly after his conversion? He says he did not
turn to people (flesh). The first three years he spent in the deserts of Arabia taking another
look at Torah. In the fourth year he came back to Jerusalem to serve with the apostles. In the
fifth year he branched out.
Ok. So you study and have all this head knowledge. As Torah goes into your head it should also be going to your heart which causes you to act, live, move, do the things you do. See Proverbs 15:28 (the righteous study how to answer...), Jeremiah 17:9 (the heart is wicked and deceitful who can know it) -- a great study in itself -- Jeremiah 17:10 (the Lord searches the heart and tests the mind and rewards according to a persons fruits -- are they His fruits of His Spirit?), and Jeremiah 31:31 (a new covenant where HaShem is to write Torah on our minds AND hearts).
Then James Chapter 2 says that faithfulness without works is dead. So this question was raised: What are the works of a "tree" of only one to three years old?
We agreed that the works of a woman in their first to third year of studying Torah should be consistent personal study time in the Torah, personal pleasure reading time in the Tanak, and the evidence of personal life changes (should begin doing the things that HaShem wants you to do).
Which raised this question: What if I don't want to do what HaShem wants me to do?
We referenced this verse: Philipians 2:13. It is HaShem who works in you to will (want, desire) to do what He wants. So if you do not want to do His will ask Him to change your heart and to make you to want to do His will and then to give you the ability to accomplish what He asks. He will do this. As David prayed in Psalm 51:10, so should we that HaShem would change our hearts, create a new heart. The heart is where our "want to" comes from. AND IT DECEIVES US. We like to think we are doing "good" when really we need to be doing "God".
In summary...study, seek HaShem for yourself. Do not depend on your husband to study and seek for you. Do not depend on your rabbi or teacher to study and seek for you. You, yourself, are to seek the face of HaShem consistently, faithfully.
Psalm 27:8 -- When HaShem says, "Seek my face" does your heart say back, "Your face, Lord, I will seek"?
STUDY SESSION on Proverbs 31:13-15
We started off this particular meeting with a discussion about passionate conversations between some of us that leave others of us uncomfortable. We encouraged each other with these scriptures:
2 Timothy 2:23-26 (NKJV)
Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate **strife.
And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.
2 Timothy 2:13-17 (NKJV)
If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself. Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers.
Romans 14:1 (NKJV)
Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things.
**Strife:
noun
1. vigorous or bitter conflict, discord, or antagonism: to be at strife.
2. a quarrel, struggle, or clash: armed strife.
3. competition or rivalry: the strife of the marketplace.
4. Archaic . strenuous effort.
Example:
Husband comes home from working 2 jobs.
Wife has been home doing whatever it is she does in the home.
She tells him she is tired.
He responds, "YOU'RE tired? I'M the one whose tired. I've been working for 13 hours today."
Here you have a competition beginning. What should her next statement be? Is she to puff up
and blow him down with all she's done today? Or should she let him know that she is his friend
and she's not competing with him. She is only letting him know that she is tired, just simply
sharing a fact.....Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV) A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
In the scriptures women are encouraged to be gentle and quiet spirited, which indicates taking control of our passions. 1 Peter 3:4 (NKJV) rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
We compared passions to the wind. The wind can be a good and useful thing when harnessed and directed in a useful way (a windmill, sails on a sailboat). It can also be very destructive. It can turn into a whirlwind tearing down a house or even a hurricane tearing down a region.
We compared passions to gasoline. When contained and fed through the proper mechanisms gasoline can start an engine and go far. It is very useful. It can also be very destructive if poured out carelessly on the ground just waiting for a spark to ignite and destroy whatever is in its path.
It is not a bad thing to be passionate about anything. What is bad is when it is out of control. One of the fruits (proofs) of the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) in your life is self control. Control yourself. Consider the hearers of your conversations.
However, if you are the hearer of such passions and this bothers you, you should go to that person yourself gently and with love, thinking of your sister as better than yourself.
Matthew 18:15 (NKJV -- my emphasis sister/her in place of brother/his in bold italics)
Moreover if your sister sins against you, go and tell her her fault between you and her alone. If she hears you, you have gained your sister.
Galatians 6:1
Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
Careful when pointing at another person. One finger points at them, but three point back to
yourself, and a thumb points downward.
1 Peter 3:4
rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
So we agreed that those of us using our mouths have a responsibility AND those who hear have
a responsibility as well.
We observed that the Proverbs 31 woman works with her hands. It does not mention so much working with her mouth. This is the only verse regarding the works of her mouth: Proverbs 31:26 (NKJV) She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
Reference: Proverbs 31:8-9 tells what the open mouth is for:
"Open your mouth for the speechless, In the cause of all who are appointed to die.
Open your mouth, judge righteously, And plead the cause of the poor and needy."
So again, an open mouth is for:
1. those who cannot speak
2. those who are dying (everyone is appointed once to die) Hebrews 9:27
3. applying Torah correctly (judging righteously)
4. pleading the cause of the poor (weak, afflicted, wretched often with idea of piety) and needy (used of one who suffers undeservedly)
Verse 13
She studies, practices, cares for, seeks after, inquires for, demands wool, fleece (animal threads) and flax, cotton (plant threads) and shall work, labor, produce delightfully, with desire, with both her hands.
She does her work with excellence desiring to do a good job. We also made the comment that
she delights in her work because of love for her husband and children.
Verse 14
She is/becomes like a fleet of merchant ships, a sailor, a merchant, a trader; from a long distance shall come her food, bread.
She feeds her family well. We discussed how sometimes it is may be necessary to have to travel
(to the Farmer's Market for example) to find good food to keep her family healthy and thriving.
Also, HaShem may seem far off. Go there! Go to Him for your spiritual bread. Read His Word
for yourself. Share His Word with your children. He/His Word is your bread, your food.
We also asked how can we be like a ship or even like a fleet of ships?
Ships float
Ships are balanced in the water so they can carry things and weather storms. (A ship floating
upside down is not particularly useful, and an unbalanced ship may sink.)
So then in the storms of life do you feel as if you are drowning? Is wave after wave taking you
down or scaring you causing you to worry? Do you become imbalanced so that you take down
whoever comes near you as well?
HaShem does not want us to exist like that. He wants us to live, not just survive (John 10:10).
When you feel capsized, cry out to Him (Matthew 14:30). Tell Him all your troubles and expect
Him to fix it. Reach out to Him. Stop expecting other people to "fix your boat." They are in
their own storms trying to keep afloat themselves. People can be of small help from time to
time, but everyone should have their own relationship with HaShem and be able to cry out to
Him in their time of need. Know what His Word says and what He desires for you so that you
will not pray amiss.
James 4:3 (NKJV) You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on
your pleasures.
Also check out Proverbs 1:27-33. It warns what not to do when "your terror comes like a
storm" and finishes with what happens when you do His will.
Verse 15
And shall rise up repeatedly while yet night and shall give new, fresh food to her house and an appointed portion of food for her handmaid/young girl.
Again she attends to the nutrition (spiritually and physically) of her family. Your "food" stays
fresh when your relationship with HaShem is fresh daily. Your young girls will see this in you
and grow up like you having healthy happy families themselves.
The hieroglyphics of the first Hebrew word of this verse (translated "And shall rise up") proved
interesting:
Vatakam
Vav = nail, tent peg, nail down, be consistent
Tav = Sign, mark, covenant
Koof = back of the head, least, behind
Mem = water, blood, flowing, chaos
Nail down, be consistent to the covenant putting the chaos behind you, to the back of your head.
(To be done many times if needed -- repeatedly)
We also brought this out with the root of the above word:
Koom
Koof = back of the head, least, behind
Vav = nail, tent peg, nail down, be consistent
Mem = water, blood, flowing, chaos
Put the back of your head toward your bed and nail down the chaos.
STUDY SESSION - Proverbs 31:16-18
VERSE 16
She purposes in her mind, has in her mind a field and shall take from fruit (from the result of labor) of her hand; he plants, sets upright; she plants, sets upright, a field set with plants of nobler quality, a vineyard.
It was pointed out that zam'mah, the first word in this verse, means "she meditates, has in mind, purposes, murmurs or mutters to herself" and that the heiroglyphics spell it out even further:
root: zahmam
zayin = weapon, to cut off
mem = water, blood, chaos
mem = water, blood, chaos
"cut off chaos"
We talked about how chaos, confusion is cut off by thinking through before doing, before speaking.
Actual word: zam'mah
zayin = weapon, to cut off
mem = water, blood, chaos
mem = water, blood, chaos
hey = see, behold
So cut off chaos, confusion before it is worked out, seen, made evident.
We gained further understanding from this verse by comparing the field to a healthy relationship foundation and the plants to children. She sets up a healthy foundation for her children and sets her children up to bear good fruit. She really considers her family situation, thinks about it, and takes up a nourishing, healthy growing place for her plants (children).
Also, "he plants and she plants uprightly," he and she are not spreading seed all over the place or in or with just any field. Only after careful consideration does she take up this field (a healthy relationship).
VERSE 17
She restrains herself, her loins, lower back, the seat of pain in parturient women, the place on which burdens are sustained in strength, firmness, majesty and her arms, her help, shall be alert, firm, strong, of a fixed mind.
We learn from this that we are to restrain ourselves in burdensome times (pray and think before doing, no knee-jerk reactions) purposing in our own minds to be strong and helpful, causing us to be strong and majestic in appearance.
VERSE 18
Her profit, gain, is discerned as good; and her *lamp will not be extinguished, quenched, go out (as a fire) in the night.
*The Hebrew word in this verse is nayrah and is from the root niyr meaning a lamp and is used figuratively of progeny, offspring, descendants, outcome, issue, something that originates from something else.
See also 1 Kings 15:4, 1 Kings 11:36, 2 Kings 8:19
We learned from this that the results of what she does is good and that her lamp (symbolic of her offspring, her inheritance) will not be extinguished when it's needed most (at night, during the darkest of days).
In summary, we discussed how the Proverbs 31 woman invests her strength physically, mentally, and spiritually. She is relationship-oriented with an eternal perspective. Proverbs 31 woman is not so much about talent, ability, or business so much as she is about what she does and her character while she is doing it.